Extinction burst explained: why night 3 of sleep training is the hardest
Key Takeaways
- An extinction burst is a temporary increase in crying that happens when your baby tests whether the old rules still apply.
- It typically peaks around nights 3-5 of sleep training and is a sign that the process is working.
- Changing your approach during an extinction burst resets the process and teaches your baby that escalation works.
- Most families see dramatic improvement by nights 6-7 if they stay consistent through the burst.
You made it through the first two nights. It was hard, but it seemed to be working — your baby cried less the second night than the first. You started to feel hopeful.
Then night 3 hits. The crying is louder, longer, and more intense than night 1. It feels like everything just fell apart. Your partner looks at you and says: "This isn't working."
Take a breath. What you are experiencing has a name, and it is one of the most well-documented phenomena in behavioral science.
What is an extinction burst?
An extinction burst is a temporary increase in a behavior when that behavior stops producing its expected result. It is not unique to babies — it happens with any learned behavior in any living creature.
Think of it this way: imagine you press an elevator button every day and the door opens. One day, you press it and nothing happens. What do you do? You press it again. Harder. Multiple times. Maybe you try holding it down. You escalate before you give up.
Your baby is doing exactly the same thing. For months, crying has produced a result — being picked up, rocked, fed. Now that response has changed. Before accepting the new reality, your baby will test the old strategy with everything they have.
Why it happens on nights 3-5
On night 1, your baby is confused. The response has changed and they are not sure what to make of it. Many babies actually cry less than parents expect on night 1 because the novelty of the situation catches them off guard.
On night 2, there is often improvement. The baby is starting to figure out the new pattern. Parents feel optimistic.
Nights 3-5 are when the real test comes. Your baby has now had enough data to realize the change is deliberate, not accidental. This is when they pull out every strategy they have: louder crying, different kinds of crying, standing up in the crib, throwing the lovey, new sounds they have never made before.
This is not regression. This is your baby's final attempt to restore the old pattern before accepting the new one.
What an extinction burst looks like
Not every increase in crying is an extinction burst. Here is what distinguishes it:
- Timing: It happens after initial improvement (usually after night 2)
- Intensity: The crying is louder or more intense than night 1
- New behaviors: Your baby may try things they have never done — pulling up to standing, screaming at a different pitch, calling out words
- Duration: Individual crying episodes may be longer than the first night
- Persistence: Your baby may wake more times during the night than before
All of this is normal and expected.
What to do during an extinction burst
Stay consistent
This is the single most important piece of advice. If you have been doing check-ins every 10 minutes, keep doing check-ins every 10 minutes. If you have been using a graduated approach with increasing intervals, stick to your schedule.
Changing your method now — going in sooner, picking up your baby, reverting to the old approach — teaches your baby that escalation works. They will learn that crying harder and longer eventually produces the result they want. This makes the next attempt at sleep training exponentially harder.
Keep your check-ins brief
When you do check in, keep it short and boring. The purpose is to reassure yourself (and your baby) that everything is safe, not to comfort them to sleep. Go in, use a calm voice, lay them back down if needed, and leave. Thirty seconds maximum.
Support each other
If you have a partner, agree in advance who handles which wake-ups. Having a plan prevents emotional decision-making at 2am. If one parent is struggling, the other takes over. No discussion, no negotiation — just follow the plan.
Track what is happening
Write down the times and durations of each crying episode. When you are in the middle of it, everything feels endless. Looking at actual data the next morning helps you see progress that is invisible in the moment.
When to worry
An extinction burst is normal, but not every situation is an extinction burst. Check on your baby and consult your pediatrician if:
- Your baby has a fever or signs of illness
- The crying sounds qualitatively different — pain cries vs. protest cries
- Your baby is not eating well during the day
- The increased crying is still escalating after night 6-7 (a true extinction burst should be declining by now)
- Your instinct says something is wrong — always trust that
What comes after
The decline after an extinction burst is often dramatic. Parents frequently describe night 6 or 7 as a turning point — suddenly their baby is falling asleep in minutes and sleeping through the night. The burst was the last barrier.
If you are reading this on night 3, exhausted and doubting everything: you are in the hardest part. It does not last. Stay the course.
Getting through it with support
DodoCare's daily plans detect extinction bursts based on your check-in data and adjust the encouragement and guidance accordingly. When the AI sees the pattern of improvement followed by escalation, it confirms what is happening and helps you hold the line. The first 3 days are free.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an extinction burst in sleep training?
An extinction burst is a temporary increase in the frequency or intensity of crying that occurs when a previously reinforced behavior (like being rocked to sleep) stops being reinforced. It is a normal part of learning and actually signals progress.
How long does an extinction burst last?
Most extinction bursts peak between nights 3 and 5, then drop off sharply. By nights 6-7, most babies are sleeping significantly better. The entire process rarely lasts more than a week.
Should I stop sleep training if my baby is crying more?
If the increased crying starts around nights 3-5, this is likely an extinction burst — a normal and expected part of the process. Stopping now would mean your baby went through the hardest part for nothing. However, if your baby shows signs of illness, fever, or the crying is qualitatively different, always check on them.