How to find the best bedtime for your baby

Why bedtime matters more than you think

If there is one thing that can transform your baby's nights, it is getting bedtime right. Not too early, not too late -- just the sweet spot where your little one is tired enough to fall asleep easily but not so exhausted that everything falls apart.

Here is the paradox that catches most parents off guard: an overtired baby actually sleeps worse, not better. When babies stay awake too long past their natural sleep window, their bodies release cortisol -- a stress hormone that acts like a second wind. The result? A wired, fussy baby who fights sleep, wakes more often at night, and rises earlier in the morning.

Finding the right bedtime is not about picking a number from a chart and sticking to it forever. It is about learning to read your baby, understanding how their day shapes their night, and making small adjustments as they grow.

Wake windows: your best starting point

Wake windows are the stretches of awake time your baby can comfortably handle between sleeps. They are one of the most reliable tools for figuring out when bedtime should happen.

Here is a general guide by age:

• 4-6 months: 1.5 to 2.5 hours between sleeps
• 6-9 months: 2 to 3.5 hours between sleeps
• 9-12 months: 2.5 to 4 hours between sleeps
• 12-18 months: 3 to 5 hours between sleeps

The last wake window of the day -- the one between the final nap and bedtime -- is usually the longest. So if your 7-month-old last woke from a nap at 3:30 PM, bedtime would fall somewhere around 6:30 to 7:00 PM.

These ranges exist because every baby is different. Some babies lean toward the shorter end, others the longer. Your job is to figure out where your baby falls, and their sleep cues will help you do that.

Sleepy cues: what your baby is telling you

Babies communicate tiredness long before they melt down. Learning to spot the early signs gives you a head start on getting them to bed at just the right moment.

Early cues (the golden window):

• Staring into space or looking away from stimulation
• Yawning
• Becoming quieter or less engaged
• A brief moment of fussiness

Late cues (you are running out of time):

• Rubbing eyes or ears
• Pulling at ears
• Arching back
• Crying or intense fussiness
• Jerky movements

The goal is to start your bedtime routine when you see those early cues. If you are consistently seeing late cues before you even begin, bedtime is probably too late.

Signs your bedtime is too early or too late

Getting bedtime wrong in either direction produces different clues. Here is what to look for.

Bedtime might be too late if your baby:

• Takes a long time to fall asleep despite being clearly tired
• Is very fussy or crying hard at bedtime
• Wakes frequently in the first few hours of the night
• Has short, restless sleep cycles
• Wakes up very early in the morning (before 6 AM)

Bedtime might be too early if your baby:

• Seems wide awake and playful at bedtime
• Rolls around or babbles happily in the crib for 20+ minutes
• Takes a very long time to fall asleep but seems content
• Wakes in the evening shortly after being put down (a "false start")

If you are seeing false starts -- your baby falls asleep at bedtime but wakes 30 to 45 minutes later -- that is often a sign that bedtime was pushed too early and they treated it like a nap.

How to adjust bedtime gradually

Once you suspect bedtime needs to shift, move slowly. Babies do best with gradual changes.

The 15-minute rule: shift bedtime by just 15 minutes every two to three days. If bedtime has been 7:30 PM and you think it should be 7:00 PM, go to 7:15 PM for a few days first. Watch how your baby responds before moving again.

This gentle approach lets your baby's internal clock adjust without causing overtiredness or undertiredness along the way.

Keep a simple log of what time you put your baby down and how the night went. After a week or so, patterns will emerge that tell you whether you are moving in the right direction.

The myth: later bedtime means later wake-up

This is one of the most common misconceptions in baby sleep, and it trips up so many families. It seems logical: if bedtime is later, the baby should sleep later in the morning. But in practice, the opposite usually happens.

A late bedtime often leads to overtiredness, which leads to more night waking and an earlier morning wake-up. Many parents discover that moving bedtime 30 minutes earlier actually results in their baby sleeping later in the morning and waking less overnight.

Sleep pressure and circadian rhythm drive wake-up time more than bedtime does. Most babies have a biological wake window between 6:00 and 7:00 AM regardless of when they fell asleep. An overtired baby is more likely to wake on the early side of that range.

If your baby is consistently waking at 5:00 AM, try making bedtime earlier rather than later. It feels counterintuitive, but it works more often than not.

How naps affect bedtime

Bedtime does not exist in isolation. It is shaped by what happened during the day, especially the last nap.

If the last nap was short or skipped: bedtime should move earlier to prevent overtiredness. Even 30 minutes earlier can make a meaningful difference.

If the last nap ran long or ended late: bedtime may need to shift a bit later. Putting a baby to bed when they are not tired enough leads to bedtime resistance and false starts.

During nap transitions (going from three naps to two, or two naps to one), bedtime often needs to be temporarily earlier. These transitions are messy, and an earlier bedtime acts as a safety net while your baby adjusts.

The key principle: bedtime is flexible. It should respond to the day your baby actually had, not the day you planned.

Putting it all together

Finding the best bedtime for your baby comes down to three things:

1. Know the wake window range for your baby's age
2. Watch for sleepy cues and start your routine at the early signs
3. Adjust based on results -- track what works and shift in small increments

There is no universal perfect bedtime. For most babies between 4 and 18 months, it falls somewhere between 6:00 and 8:00 PM, but the exact time depends on your baby's age, nap schedule, and individual needs.

Be patient with yourself. It can take a week or two of observation and small tweaks to land on the right time. And remember that the right time will change as your baby grows and drops naps.

You are doing a great job paying attention to what your baby needs. That awareness is the most important tool you have.

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